As a parent, your roles and responsibilities will never end. However, you can make it easier and more bearable, if you’re in sync with your child and their choices in life.
That said, as beautiful as the journey of parenting is, it can be as taxing and tumultuous.
No matter how much you try, children will remain children and to try to alter them for what they’re not will only make you more toxic than ever.
Many times, your words can do more damage than anything else in the world. What you say to your kid can build an impression – good or bad.
Therefore, here are some things parents should never say to children.
1. Shaming kids for being kids
Parents should never criticize their children for being children. They’re young and innocent and what they do is purely how they are. Questioning why they’re behaving in a certain way, passing sarcastic remarks or demanding a change in the attitude is not right!
Some of the phrases that parents should avoid are: “Why are you talking like that?”, “Do you think you look nice walking like that?”, “Your behaviour is so strange”.
2. Whining about having to raise kids
As a parent, you should not change your stance according to good and bad situations. Only because you feel overwhelmed does not give you the right to make children feel less of themselves. They should not be put in a situation where they’re forced to question their own existence. If you’re not feeling great, make time for yourself, take a time-out instead of making your child feel that they’re the source of all the problems.
Phrases to avoid: “I have been spending a lot on you – I deserve better”, “I am having such a tough time raising you”, “I wish you were never born.”
3. Making unhealthy comparisons
One of the most toxic things to do is compare children. Telling your child that they’re incompetent and have less potential than some other kid will not only damage their confidence, but will also make them feel unworthy. In addition, making comparisons between siblings will strain their relationship leading to unhealthy competition.
Phrases to avoid: “Why aren’t you as good as him/her?”, “The other kids are so efficient, unlike you.”
4. Finding faults in children’s appearance
It is morally wrong to judge any kid for their physical appearance. Parents especially should be mindful and should not make their children conscious of how they look. It not only takes a toll on their self-esteem, but also scars them for life.
Phrases to avoid: “You’re getting fatter/thinner,” “This dress makes you look so u**y,” “I wish you had hair like me.”
5. Making empty promises
Just because you want things to work according to you does not mean you make empty promises to your child. Doing so will only distance them away from you. Your child will never trust you again and will lose all faith in you.
Phrases to avoid: “Next time you behave, I will buy you this,” “Promise, I’ll take you there next time.”
6. Using unkind words towards children
Parents should be someone children look up to. But if you’re someone using harsh, unkind words to them, they’re likely to feel confused and tormented. You should be a source of encouragement and support rather than the one to crush their self-esteem.
Phrases to avoid: “You’re so dumb,” “Why are you so useless?”, “Please use your mind sometimes.”