For a gender that is widely assumed to be unable to help itself when it comes to cheating, men seem to hate being cheated on too much. And why?
The narrative that has been spun around the issue of cheating for the longest time is that men cheat more than women, but are more hurt, desperate, and angry when they find out they’ve been cheated on.
In our collective consciousness, that’s pretty much just the way it is. The narrative leads us to believe that women somehow “expect” to be cheated on because “all men cheat” and “men will always be men.”
So we’re dealing with an unfair situation, a particularly troublesome relationship dynamic that allows women to forgive and move on when their husbands cheat on them, but on the other hand, validates men’s outrage and righteous anger when they cheat.
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So let’s talk about the reasons why this is so. Why does it bother men so much when a woman cheats on them, and why do more men find cheating absolutely unforgivable than women?
1. They Know that Women Cheat only For Emotional Reasons.
When women cheat, it is for emotional reasons. Women do not cheat for physical reasons, and in most cases it is not for s****l gratification. It is said that women enter into affairs out of a need to fill an emotional void, to fill an emotional vacuum.
So when men know that the woman has distanced herself emotionally and her time is probably up, cheating is an especially easy pill for her to swallow.
2. The Ego Is Attacked
While women [inexplicably] feel ashamed and embarrassed when their partner cheats on them, men see cheating as an attack on their ego. They probably feel it is the highest form of disrespect to be cheated on, and that makes it even harder to bear.
This is because men believe they are born deserving of respect.
3. They Don’t See It Coming
The average man, no matter how unkempt, emotionally unavailable, difficult and problematic he is, still feels that he deserves loyalty and cannot for the life of him imagine that his girlfriend would either leave him or cheat on him with another man.
And while it’s not completely wrong to expect this [I mean, if you’re still with someone, it’s only OK if they expect loyalty from you], it’s kind of deluded and naive to think that women, especially those with unmet emotional needs, can’t or won’t try to get it from someone else.
4. They Think Cheating Is Something for Men.
Crazy, right? But, yes, it’s true. Some men are conditioned to think that only women cheat. They think it’s a man’s game. Cheating is something that men do. A woman who cheats is…. just wrong. But if it’s a man, it might be forgivable, explainable, there might be a way to justify it, explain it away, put it in a perspective that makes it less problematic.
But a woman who cheats… and God forbid…. a married woman?! No. That’s too scandalous. The greatest sin of all time.
5. They Were Faithful All the Time
As we mentioned earlier, cheating is portrayed as a man’s thing. So if a man chooses to stay faithful to his wife or partner, he thinks he deserves a medal. Some extra cool points for being the man who doesn’t cheat, not for being rewarded with cheating.