More unmarried b***s are becoming attracted to married men, and intentionally seeking them out for relationships. Here’s why.
Certainly, it is not new for married men, especially in Lagos, to have ongoing romantic relationships and open s****l affairs with younger, single women. But while it used to feel like these married men were tricking the unmarried women into the relationships, things now seem to be changing.
More and more unmarried women seem to be attracted to married men and are intentionally seeking them out to s****e them.
To provide context: Over a period of more than seven days, I saw reports on popular relationship expert Joro Olumofin’s Instagram blog a few months ago that underscored the prevalence of this practice and proved that it seems to be becoming a “goal” for young, single women to have a married partner, as opposed to a relationship with a single man like them.
Why single women date married men
The first obvious reason why this relationship seems to flourish is logically the financial benefits associated with such romantic affairs.
An Instagram user shares his personal experience on Joro’s Instagram page during the aforementioned period. Since he was single and had not been able to pick up any girls despite several attempts, he had gotten himself a ring and put it on his wedding band. As if by magic, girls were attracted to it and offered s*x as cheaply as they could.
“The wedding ring represents success and stability, which these lazy Nigeria girls like,” the anonymous user wrote. Whether he was 100 percent sincere is another matter, I admit.
Regardless, the idea of many women who deliberately date married men is apparently that young men their age are not yet on their own feet and would find it difficult to meet the outrageous demands they make to fund their unsustainable, opulent lifestyles. But guess who has more than enough money to finance foreign trips, super expensive hairstyles and all other aspects of the glamorous life these women aspire to?
Sure, you guessed right!
So the need to maintain an expensive lifestyle regardless of a low economic status is one reason.
Another reason could be the need for independence; to be free to enjoy s****l gratification and all the other pleasures of a relationship without actually being in one.
“I know a woman who is with a married man just for s*x,” says Dairo, a photographer in Lagos.
“She says she doesn’t want the attachment that normal friendships often bring. She wants to keep partying and living the way she sees fit, not shifting and bending to accommodate a guy in her life.
“They get together, have s*x, hang out a little bit, fool around, have a lot of laughs; then the married man returns home to his family and she returns to her preferred single life.
“I think a lot of women, like her, want both the benefits of a relationship and the independence; one thing that can be difficult with a boyfriend or another single man who is likely to start developing feelings after a while of s*x.”
The relative detachment that many married men often feel toward flings is very perfect and allows for that independence Dairo speaks of.
Ayo, a fun guy, believes that there is also a belief among women that married men know how to treat women better because of their experience. For some other b***s, that’s the attraction.
After dating a married woman for a while, and being a man in his mid-thirties and older, he would not only be better off financially, but also very experienced in treating women with more care and bringing their bodies to more pleasure.
Dating married men is wrong
The reasons for dating married people, no matter how logical they sound to those who put them forward, are still not and will never be enough to justify the practice of dating another woman’s husband. And, of course, it will not be an excuse for married men who cheat on their wives.
Some say that karma will come around later in life, but whether it does or not is a 50-50 proposition. In the meantime, however, you should deal with the struggle in your conscience.